Read my Journal

[I found a journal I wrote fifteen years ago. Some are boring, but several are pretty funny in retrospect. I'm sure most guys will relate. Have a read.]

Dear Journal,

Today I had my first kiss. I hope she’s not pregnant and I’m really worried. I think I kissed her really good and it felt really good, but I’m sad because she told me I couldn’t tell anyone because she would lose her job and she’s a really good teacher.

Dear Journal,

I had my second kiss today. I think it was her first kiss because she said, “I’ve never kissed a boy before,” but I think she was lying because how can a babysitter never kiss a boy when she’s always taking care of boys?

Dear Journal,

I didn’t do anything today.

Dear Journal,

Today I tickled a girl so good that she started screaming really loud. I thought I was killing her but she said not to stop. When I asked my dad why, he started crying and broke up with his girlfriend so I guess I’ll never tickle her again.

Dear Journal,

Last night I felt so grown up when I went to the restaurant with my friend’s family and his mom bought me a wine. I drank it really fast like my dad does and started walking crooked. My friend’s mom said I should sleep over and I slept in her bed. When I woke up she brought me juice and said, “ready for more, tiger?” And she took off her big shirt. I said the juice was good.