Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy S.A.D.

I was bitter at an early age.

Once, when presented with a single red rose on valentine's day, I without hesitation assumed that it must have been some kind of cruel joke. High school was an all around traumatic experience for me, and I was sure the gesture was an elaborate trick to humiliate me. My fifteen year old self would have bet her beans there were snickering girls hiding around the corner, waiting for me to smile and fawn over the fake flirting. I think I turned the rose upside down and stuffed it into my backpack. I could barely look the presenter in the eye but I mustered enough gumption to respond "I don't know..." to his date request, and tore off in the opposite direction. Since I grew up to be a florist, I know just how much effort & money he had to go through to obtain that rose. The only one who was cruel that day was me. I didn't even notice the handwritten card attached until I got home.

I know it's easy to jump on the "I hate Valentine's Day" bandwagon, but I truly do. Despite my reputation of being a serial monogamist, I've never been a fan of the holiday. I do partake in an occasional conversation heart or two, and I can never turn down a chocolate covered marshmallow heart. As a florist and candy lover I am all for promoting of the new holiday "S.A.D., or Singles Appreciation Day. You can buy any kind of flower, get fantastic candy in a box of any shape, and celebrate being able to eat the entire thing without sharing. Sadly, couples still have to celebrate Valentine's day, but they will have to come up with something truly romantic and personal in order to outshine S.A.D. gifts.

For instance, you can make reservations for a hotel room for your sweetheart to stay in all by themselves after a long hard day of work at the flower shop so they won't have to deal with the daily routines of home. Or how about a handmade gift or dinner? That's what valentine's day should be about. Not what it is today: a generic, trying to make your co-workers at the office jealous, trying to get laid, red roses & heart shaped Russell Stover chocolate box kind of day. Writing a poem or drawing a picture is so much cheaper and way more romantic than all that will ever be. Even one rose is still a thoughtful gesture, especially when accompanied with a hand written note that says something more that just "Happy Valentine's Day".

Embarrassingly, I had to face that nice guy who gave me the rose quite often since I worked at the video store where his family rented videos. In my socially awkward lame way I tried to make up for my stupid bitchy behavior by secretly giving him discounts, the occasionally free rental, and I would hold new releases behind the counter and offer them like little apologies. I am sure he never even noticed. So if you have a significant other, I am sorry for the daunting task at hand.

To all those singles out there, relax and have a happy Singles Appreciation Day!


  1. The Love Sucks Song!

    Featuring the largest all-lady youtube collaboration in history.


  2. I just want you to know that the discounts you gave me on the videos helped. A little. Well, since it was porn, maybe a lot. Thanks.

  3. what's worse is that i can't even remember his name! I am such a stone hearted stuck up so and so ...Masa, no Asian guys ever asked me out in high school :(